USA

manders69@hotmail.com

Possessions

Rubbermaid ruined the world.
A life without tin can trash bins
and glass bowls that can break
as they slip from dishpan hands
just take all the joy out of living.
My glass casserole dish never earned
a crusty layer from brewing broth
in a microwave like those dishes
my mother would buy from tipsy women
at Tupperware parties, planning
to take over the world with party platters
and playtex disposable nipples.
When I decide to drive drunk
and miss my driveway, I want to crash
into real trash cans, not the kind that go in
and bounce back- I want real damage
with dents and scrapes, not a plastic
performance of how Rubbermaid is good
for us and good to us since it's 92.6%
recycable. Screw plastic,
I want tin and glass and aluminum
and titanium and any other lead-
infested, non-biodegradable pollutant
I can find.

Retired Playmates

We will put each other away like stuffed
animals and toy soldiers and only visit
when we feel the need to open a box
and remember our fleeting youth.

Like faded pages of the books
we learned to read from, we will flip
through photo albums and remember
what we learned about ourselves-
who wanted to build their own home.
who wanted to get paid for raising cats.
who wanted to earn a million by 25.
who wanted to make a dent in the lives of kids.

We will sit in wicker chairs
with runny-nosed grandchildren
surrounding us, wondering what
they would think if they knew
we had case races and did shots
called "buttery nipples".

Will we regret our constant need
for bar hops and Marlboro Lights
in a box? Or will we relish that in all
we do, we will always have each other
in our little boxes of nostalgia,
maybe wishing for another go,
or even for one of those days
to have just once more?

We will never lose each other
for in every lesson we teach
our children, a part of us will
have gained the lesson to be learned
in each other.

We may become dusty in each other's minds
like old legos, broken and unused,
but with every discovery of long-sheltered
playthings, we will discover each other
over and over again.

22

I can't ask my parents for money
anymore. My metabolism isn't what
it used to be. Kids come to me when
they need alcohol. And the jeans I wore
in seventh grade no longer come up past
my thighs.
The bright-eyed bagger boy
in the Big Bear I go to asked me if
I'd like paper or plastic "ma'am"
and I knew he thought it would be cool
to be my age so he could buy cigarettes
instead of stealing them from his parents.
I used to brag about how many cds I had
but now my pride lies in the fact
that water and gas is included in my rent.
A bad day used to mean I couldn't go out
with my friends because I was grounded,
now it means I go out looking for a job
that isn't there just to come home
to a dozen chores I don't want to do.
I listen to fifteen-year-olds walk
past my house and raise my disapproving
eyebrows when I hear them say "ass".
I never thought I'd live this long,
now I worry I don't have much time left.
I used to collect stickers now I collect
Camel Points. Clothes were bought to look
cool, now they're purchased so I don't
have to do laundry. Graduating highschool
was an anticipated event, graduating college
makes my stomach knot and my hands tremble.
I read the newspaper for the "Luann"
comic strip, now I search the want ads
so I can pay rent next month. My nephew
looks at me and says I'm old, someday
he'll think I don't know what it's like
to be a kid in today's society. I found
a gray hair and bought Nice and Easy
that covers up gray naturally-
How natural is it to have gray hair
at twenty-two?

© All Copyright, Amanda Elizabeth Forbes.
All Rights Reserved. Printed By Permission.