Poetry Magazine, Janet Poole, October 2000

Poetry Magazine

Janet Poole

USA

Stepping Stones

You're so important, but may I say,
I helped you arrive where you are today.
You don't remember way back when,
I was your dear and faithful friend.

You had no motivation before,
I helped you get your foot in the door.
You were at the bottom and would have stayed there,
Had I not taken the time to care.

Yes, you worked once you got in,
But you forgot your closest friend.
We used to talk almost every day,
But now you have no words to say.

You're too busy, too high-classed,
To chat with a friend and toast your glass,
To the success that you have found,
Your stepping stone you've left on the ground.

You've got places to go and people to see,
No time to talk to stepping stones like me.
Although I'm feeling quite confused,
I know in my heart that I was used.

The Knock

It's been a while since I have seen your face.
The last time you were here I banished you from my place.
I know that one day the hurt will disappear.
And one day the knock will come and you'll reappear.

I wish that you could find it in your heart,
To stay away and let me find a new start.
The wounds are still so fresh here in my heart,
Your flowers wouldn't be sweet but more like salt.

You always break my heart and then you come around,
Thinking that space and time has calmed me down.
You were right in the past but now I've outgrown you.
Now your old remedies won't do the trick for you.

I'm waiting for the knock when you reappear.
When I hear it I will surely disappear.
I'm waiting for the knock to let me know you've come.
It's not a sign of love 'cause we are done.

All you bring into my life is confusion.
Please go away and let me live in peace.
No need for you to hang around my door this time.
Your knock this time means nothing to me.

I'm waiting for the knock when you reappear.
When it comes I know I'll be over you my dear.
I'm waiting for the knock to stop and when you turn around.
And you realize there's no love to be found.

The knock won't help you open up my heart.
The knock won't help us you've torn love apart.
The knock won't help me the hurt you've caused is too much to bear.
When the knock comes I hope that I'm not here.

Defenseless

He tore down my walls brick by brick with his,
Bare hands and saw my weakness.
He looked past my façade of strength and,
Made me whimper softly.

He made me swallow each negative word as I,
Gave in- he had called my bluff.
I really did need love and,
He knew I would crumble soon enough.

He stared at me and I closed my eyes to,
Hide my feelings once again, then opened them,
Because I knew that the game was over,
I loved him and he could feel it.

He kissed me and I stood there,
Wanting to pull away but needing,
That soft assurance that he gave and he,
Wanted me as desperately as I craved him.

Nothing to do now but raise the white flag,
He knows the truth, now what?
I guess I will just,
Let him love me, and love him.

Leave Me Alone

I closed the door for an obvious reason,
My thoughts are speeding down my mind's highway,
Beads of liquid frustration flow through my pores,
My mind's eye catches a glimpse of the past.
Leave me alone.

My tongue is a mental patient confined in a straight jacket,
It has much to express but is silenced by depression,
My eyes are closed like bank vaults and peering into my soul
My heart is having an internal struggle I can't breathe.
Leave me alone.

The sound of your useless knocking is muffled by excruciating agony,
I know I cannot sleep for fear of the nightmares returning.
My fingers clinch my bed for support, I'm falling off.
Go away, I've fallen into an abyss of disappointments.
Leave me alone.