USA

vincentzepp@hotmail.com 

Dia de Los Muertos

yesterday was dad
80th birthday
we celebrated by
looking through old photographs
relying on me
to identify the guys
and gals

you've been dead for a month
when we get together
we see you through the holes
in our hearts

the house is being taken apart
and packed
i got pictures
some bowls a necklace
that looks like old hippy love beads
and the only
thing
i
really wanted
the statue of romulus and remus
being suckled
by
a wolf

how you came by this piece
i never knew
when i got it today
it felt so light
and seemed
smaller than i recalled
realizing that in all
these years
i never actually handled it
this could be said of our
life as a family

for the past month
its been
shades of night descending

dad said
believe it or not
you were his first and only girlfriend

i don't see my self visiting your
grave much
you're not there anyway
though the report cards you saved
show me getting good grades in christian studies
i cant say for sure
where you are

there is no nepenthe
that can drive away
this
pain and sorrow
and
believe me i've tried

tonight i
turned the clock
back
but
not

time

about a year or so
ago
richard dillon and i
were receiving
phowa empowerments
to
propel our consciousness
through our fontanel
at the time of death
at the end of the session
the floor was opened up for
questions
and richard said
there's one
i've had for a while
is it possible that we
could reincarnate back into
this exact life and live it
all
over again

you could touch the
spiritual smugness
in the room

and
in the protracted tibetan
of the translator
with
rinpoche

who said in plain english
yes anything is possible

all
around the room
helium seeped out of their
spiritual balloons

it is truly hopeless

trungpa says
padmasambhava still lives
if you look for him
you might find him
but
i'm sure
you will be very
disappointed when
you
see him

one evening
isamu noguchi came
to visit john cage
there was nothing in the
room no furniture no paintings
floor was wall to wall
cocoa matting
no curtains
no drapes
noguchi said
an old shoe would look beautiful in this room

self portrait as an artist

© Copyright, 2000, Vincent Zepp.
All Rights Reserved. Printed By Permission.