MALAYSIA

dybuk@excite.com 

When In Rome

the family man who lives
in the house down the block
went outside with 
only his shorts on
one evening.

he is known to be a lunatic
a beater of wife
an abuser of children
a drunk muse with no self respect.
if you lived on
the same block you'd
hear him shouting at 
nights cursing in
unintelligible Chinese
and I'm sure you'd
say "that man is crazy."

anyway, this man, 
whatever his name is
went outside with
only his shorts on
one evening.
he has sad looking tattoos
on his back and shoulders.
the remnants of his dignity
has been stripped 
by his crew-cut hair.
he crossed his legs 
in the middle of the road
and started calling a name.
of course he was blocking traffic.
he shouted and shouted and
tapped his legs
for a while.

and then his white dog
came out and
sat on his lap. 

so much for that.

if you lived on 
the same block and
saw the event you'd 
probably say
"that dog is crazy to
obey a man like that."

Madness

eight months of dormancy
has made my brain dry 
like Japanese marshmallows.

i was a computer consultant
a friend of technology
also a passionate lover
of fine arts
but
when words start playing tricks to your
mind you might want to 
consider seeing a shrink.

so i go to see a shrink.
she has big breasts and her lips
seems to say "i'll suck your 
balls but you are not worth it."
she says that there is 
nothing wrong with
having words playing 
tricks in your head
and that i don't
have to come again.
well, that is some help.

so i get into my Honda,
put the seat belt on
stop at a red light then go
stop go stop
at the stop sign then go
stop go stop
go the process repeats at
every red light and
stop sign until i
get to my apartment.

when i get in 
i see something:
my wife on the bed
smiling in her dream..
then i realize what
is wrong: 
i have been married to the
same woman/bitch
for eight years.

i quickly packed my 
belonging and
drive East

stop and go 
stop and go
stop and go
all the 
way.

Dead At 23

at the age of 23
i already felt like a loser.
maybe the drugs would help.
"why drugs?" the devil asked me.
"why not alcohol?" he asked again.
i said "go away! leave me alone!"
i didn't know how he entered
but i saw him leaving through
the back door.
then i thought
"maybe he's right."
so i went to the liquor store
and bought blue smirnoff and
irish cream and drank
mudslide.
mudslide: 1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz coffee liquor
1/4 oz irish cream
mixed in a short glass 
filled with broken ice.
then i crushed 4 ecstasy pills
divided it into four parts
and snorted them,
two on each side.
the devil came back and
said "how are you doing?"
"pretty fucked up. thanks for asking." i said.
"care for some drinks?"
"no." he replied. he said again
"you look really bad"
"no shit" said i.
"you're fucked", he said again.
talkative fellow, that Devil.
he stayed for a while
he browsed through my record collection:
fusion jazz
classical
electronica
etcetera
abracadabra
whatever
then he left. he left 
through the cracks on the wall.
i realized that The Devil was right.
i mean, you are really fucked when
The Devil, Mr. Whoop Ass himself said
you're fucked.
so, with these words in mind
i went to my bedroom
took my dad's gun 
put verdi on
went to the bathroom
lay on the bathtub
put the gun in my mouth
and -
and
click!
then everything
was quiet.

© Copyright, 2000, Mel Mudin.
All Rights Reserved. Printed By Permission.