The Sweet Hereafter

At a distance, I wrote Amy -
Blond hair on a tall body,
Tight black pants and a jacket.
In the distance, we keep going over
And over
How the lock works
Or how we're seated in a café
Finally, and I try to tell her
About this book I am reading.
There is nothing in the book
That matters more
Than that I would like to have her.

I would not be lying if I told her
What I was feeling,
Every gory detail.

It would be time to leave, however.
I've known this.
No harm in trying.
No harm in her rejection,
Like a blank look
With nothing to follow.
Begging the question.
Cup to her passing.
Change,
Moving back and forth,
Like small mirrors
On the bottom of a still lake,
Except that I can see myself
On the surface.
I don't need them,
This redundancy, this advice.

It's all about sex and attraction,
What I want in a woman
Is this sleek line of flesh
And the calm patronizing voice.
She is mouthing something
In my dream,
At daybreak
After a meal of red meat,
Tossing and turning.
Cup of water at my bedside.
Tumultuous, anxious, literary.
Heartburn,
So I am awake.
Cup to my lips
Some soft substance,
Like rheum
On the lower lip,
In the corner,
As if I'd been shaking in my nightmare.
But the smell of musk is
Not present,
Just the sound of the heater
Kicking in
And the train
Announcer in the background
And the long retinue of cars on the freeway,
A stream of them hurrying
Across my line of vision,
The gurgling sleeplessness
After the red-meat meal,
On the wedge of foam,
A handful of Tums,
And the eyes of the lame girl
In The Sweet Hereafter.

She lies in the movie
And the lawyer says
It's not normal.
It is some reference to
Children and their parents,
About anger
And the pied piper
Leading the little ones
Into a hole in the mountains.
They are never seen again.

He is a better actor, this attorney,
Than his wife
In the movie.
The wife is worried about the child,
Who is swollen from the spider bite
And she is trying to breast feed,
But the wife can't stay calm.
So the father rides shotgun
With his pocket knife extended,
Ready to plunge it
Into the daughter's throat
Should the breathing stop
Or until they make it to the doctor.
The child's cheeks,
Large inquisitive eyes,
The wonderment,
And the silver blade;
He is willing to go all the way.

"I need to know where you are Zoë?" he said.
"In what state?" he questioned her.