As Time Goes By

How long it has been
Since he left you at the Steps of Rome -
Some imagined vacation
That would never come -
What dog or loft you'll never share
And how you deserved better.

Better than a broken heart
And who was he to do it to you?

How could he weld such power?
Except that you were
Goodness, truth, and beauty
And he wanted the uncertainty
You must have felt,
And was reason enough for you
Never to marry.

He wanted your uterus dry, barren.
It's fertility certain however
While he lay awake in fear
That the children would hold on to him
And draw attention.
They would limit him, he thought,
To renting videos and hiding
Large canvases in small rooms,
To pinning his arms behind his back, and
To long hours of uninspired toil.

You gave him 10 years to make up his mind.
He had 10 years to decide
Whether or not he would have your children,
If not, you would leave him.

What's up with that?

Where does it say in the definition of love
That lovers are methodical?
Where does it say that lovers
Can see into the future
And plan for life?
Have you not read Romeo and Juliet?

Love is tragedy,
It is sorrow,
It is one fucking high point and
Then rocks below
And the sea coursing back and forth
Over rough edges
Smoothing them down
To almost nothing,
Forming an inlet
For other lovers to lay.

As he lay there, you were on a towel.
You and he chatted constantly.
You were good friends.
He loved you then
As he I loves you now.
He is charmed by how beautiful
You are, how great a woman you've
Become and always were.

He knows he's lost you
To the unceasing waterway
That rushes back and forth,
A churning fear of his,
A descent he cannot make.
So he chose another,
One with children
Attached, and even a husband.
Yet, he remains uncertain
Suspecting sadness as he figures
Who can love him?
He cannot even love himself.

This time, pardon the pun,
He bought you another watch.
He thought shoes would be better
And still they remain an option.
He wanted to take care of you.
It was easy, affordable.
With this new relationship,
He is in over his head.
Perhaps he knew this -
It wouldn't last -
And he could get back to loneliness.

The problem is he loves her
And he is less hostile to street people
As a result (fearing his desolation).

There will be glory days
And then enslavement.
He will walk into her wicked beauty
And be held at bay
Or rather it is on a still lake
Full of migrating birds.
He will paddle hard (to keep her from getting wet)
While the rains fall.

Please forgive him for everything.
It is not that he didn't love you.
He did and does.
It was just something that happened innocently
And made him guilty.
One day, you will experience the grand passion
That whisked him away
Or perhaps you will have another smart love but
This time he is sure you will have it
With a smarter one.