I Am Not Sweet

"I hate poets.
They're so sweet."

he said
over his cappuccino
looking at me

I guess

I said something
did something
wrong

revealed
vulnerability

and now
he doesn't want to sleep
with me

I want
to take back this
sweet thing
I said

because
I have a mean streak, too

the desire to kill
sometimes

I want you
to know

What Does Not Exist in America

A river flows through the desert in Arizona.
I've seen it through the corner of my eye
in the side-view mirror.

Not like the black and empty highway
which drives us.

Strange fish are swimming in it.
Translucent and rainbow colored,
they move too quickly
to be caught
and eaten.

THINKING WITH FIRE

"If you think with fire
Then life is a road that leads
To waiting for nothing."
CHsiung Hung

This is exactly how I've gotten
where I am,
essentially
nowhere.
Thinking with fire.

A field
between two train stops
just north of Turkey.
Nothing and everything
grow profusely here
but no one comes to pick them
anymore.

I remember him
despite the bitter times,
long hours of waiting
in cold weather
for those slow trains,
long nights of nothing
but work and smoke.

In between there was only fire.

And I remember you,
my secret love,
despite the times
that never were.

Flames sometimes leap
from the dust.