Jan Beatty USA
Visitation at Gogama No shirt, was drying his long hair
with a towel
and staring at the train,
he looked
about 30.
I saw my birth
father young and alive,
he stepped out
of a brown house with a white
sign on the
side: wild bill (his nickname)
in big block
letters. I saw him the way he was
before he made
me—
beautiful and
astonishing in his maleness.
I tell you
this is my family tree—no
noble phrases,
no graveyards on the hill,
just
visitations. Now pieces of discarded track,
explosion of
purple wildflowers along the side,
solid wall of
rock 5 ft from the train,
then a
river/bridge/floating leaves
that look like
giant lily pads—is that possible?
We’re
approaching the town of Gogama,
Ontario—small
railroad town erased
by the diesel
engine. There’s a bar called
“Restaurant/Tavern” and a meat market
called “Meat
Market” and a motel called
“Motel”—no
other names.
In this place
of no-naming or maybe
first-naming,
I decide I’ll call myself “bastard”—
it’s plain and
accurate, you can count on it.
We approach a
signal, a woman in a
black tank top
with killer arms slouches
in a grey
Buick Century at the crossing
in a modified
gangster lean. I decide
I love her,
call her free.
—Jan Beatty,
The Switching/Yard, University of
Pittsburgh Press, 2013
© Copyright, 2013,
Jan
Beatty. |